The Unsung Architects of Holiday Magic

The holidays, for many of us, conjure images of sparkling lights, festive meals, and the warmth of togetherness. Yet, beneath all the magic lies an undeniable truth: much of what makes the holidays special has been built by women. From the 19th-century philosopher Harriet Martineau, who highlighted the social fabric woven by women, to the modern-day holiday seasons shaped by their unpaid labor, women have long been the architects of holiday joy—often at great personal cost.

The Origins of a Colonial Christmas

In the American colonies, Christmas was a far cry from the joyous celebrations we know today. Early colonial Christmases were often somber and religious, focused on attending church services and avoiding excess. In fact, in some Puritan communities, Christmas celebrations were outright banned, as they were viewed as unholy and frivolous. There were no twinkling lights, no caroling, no festive feasts—just another day in the arduous colonial calendar.

In Puritan colonies people could be arrested and fined for celebrating. Colonists knew it as a heavy drinking, brawling festival, a raucous blend of July 4th and New Year’s Eve.

In 1834, men and women — African American and white — of William Lloyd Garrison’s newly formed Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society saw Christmas as an opportunity to expose a republic that proclaimed liberty yet held millions as slaves. Women assumed the lead, boldly defying a society that denied them a public voice or political opinions. To finance the abolition cause, these women organized Christmas bazaars that sold donated gifts, and trumpeted anti-slavery messages in the name of the prince of peace and emancipation.

Because women were prominent, the press labeled abolitionist gatherings “promiscuous assemblies” and denounced male supporters as “Aunt Nancy men.” Then came violence, mob attacks sanctioned by the rich and their media. After some meetings, women linked arms, Black and white, and surrounded their men to protect them from angry mobs.

Women also turned the holiday into a generous, gift-giving Christmas that rewarded children. Their emphasis on children asked Americans to grant that enslaved people, who had even fewer rights than children, deserved Christian care and generosity. This strategy was also designed to challenge slaveholder propaganda portraying enslaved adults as children. At least one early Massachusetts anti-slavery fair featured an interracial children’s chorus known as the Boston Garrison Juvenile Choir, which sang popular holiday songs as “The Sugar Plums.”

By the end of the 1830s, Christmas fairs had become the primary source of abolitionist funds. Bazaar sponsors now replaced the small green shrub with a tall, full-grown evergreen tree. That Christmas, Harriet Martineau visited and described the Christmas tree in her book giving the tree fame in the public as a tall green flag of freedom!

As with many things - Christmas in America began with great intentions and a lot of work for women and persists today with more great intentions and even more work for women.

Harriet Martineau, a 19th-century writer, sociologist, and trailblazing feminist, spent much of her life analyzing the invisible labor and systemic inequalities that shaped society. Were she alive today, Martineau would undoubtedly recognize how the holidays magnify the unpaid emotional, physical, and financial labor that women shoulder year-round. Her observations remind us that even in the festive season, the invisible work of women is the backbone of what makes it magical—and that change is long overdue.

The Reality Behind the Glitter

While the holidays often bring moments of joy, they also amplify stress—especially for women. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that 72% of women report feeling overwhelmed by holiday responsibilities. These pressures aren’t just emotional; they’re financial, too. According to a survey by Credit Karma, 44% of women go into debt during the holidays, with many taking months to recover.

Additionally, burnout and depression often spike during this season. Women’s emotional labor—managing family dynamics, planning events, and ensuring everyone else’s happiness—can feel unrelenting. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that women are more likely than men to experience stress-related mental health issues during the holidays, including anxiety and depression.

Harriet Martineau’s Insightful Legacy

Harriet Martineau’s work is a powerful lens through which we can examine these modern struggles. A pioneering thinker, she was one of the first to write about the intersections of economy, labor, and gender. Martineau understood that women’s contributions often went unacknowledged and undervalued, even though they were essential to the functioning of society.

Today, we see echoes of Martineau’s observations in the holiday season. Women are often expected to be the architects of holiday magic, from planning festive traditions to ensuring everyone feels included and cared for. Yet, this labor is rarely recognized, let alone reciprocated.

Reclaiming Rest and Joy

How can women begin to reset expectations around the holidays (and everyday) and reclaim peace and rest? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Simplify Traditions: Not every tradition needs to be upheld every year. Choose a few meaningful activities and let go of those that add unnecessary stress. If a member of your family insists on a tradition- then they can be the one to implement, manage, and uphold that tradition- not you.

2. Delegate Responsibilities: Share the workload with family members. Cooking, shopping, and decorating don’t have to fall on one person’s shoulders and shouldn't. Once you've delegated a task- remove yourself from it completely. Ignore any questions about that task. You had to figure it out at one point- the person who now owns that task can do the same.

3. Set Financial Boundaries: Create a realistic budget and stick to it. Focus on meaningful, thoughtful gifts rather than expensive ones. Have this conversation with your family. It is never too early to teach your children that money is not an indicator of morality or worth.

4. Prioritize Rest: Embrace the winter season as a time for hibernation, not hustle. Take cues from nature and schedule time for rest and self-care. You are not your family's event planner. You are a person in need of rest, care and regeneration.

5. Communicate Needs: Be honest with loved ones about what you can and cannot handle. Setting and maintaining boundaries is an act of self-preservation, not selfishness.

   
   

Building a New Holiday Paradigm

The magic of the holidays should not come at the expense of women’s well-being. As Harriet Martineau would remind us, systemic change begins with awareness. By recognizing the invisible labor women perform during the holidays and taking steps to redistribute it, we can create a season that is truly joyful for everyone.

This year, let’s honor the legacy of women like Martineau by advocating for rest, peace, and equity. Let’s tell the stories of women—past and present—who quietly carry the weight of holiday magic. And let’s commit to a future where the holidays are not just magical, but equitable, too.